Friday, June 25, 2004

I'm back from the city. Actually quite some time ago already. I'm just in a crappy mood today. No idea why though since yesterday was the first time I went out in a long while. Its been awhile since I actually walked out of my house without commitments. Its a confused feeling though. One side, I am feeling happy because exams are over, on the other side, I'm just thinking time passes me by so fast. Faster than I can ever imagine cause its already the winter holidays. 4 months have passed, 4 months I have been on my own here. 4 months.. Not a long time, but long enough. I was doing alot of self-reflection yesterday on the trip on the train on how I have become these 4 months. Think that alot has happened in these period of time. Made me probably more aware of alot of things that are happening around me. Made me less ignorant. Made me appreciate alot more that I had before I came. I have been a spoilt, immature and take alot of things for granted. I was a materialistic girl and wanted alot of things and will do anything to get my way. Coming here made me wake up from my sleepy fairyland that my parents cannot be here for me all my life. Coming here made me realise that money do not grow on trees and I cant have everything that I want. Coming here made appreciate tiny gestures that touched my heart. Coming here opened a wounded heart once more. Coming here made me stronger. Coming here will probably be the best years of my life.
Anyway, enough of self-reflection. Havent done that in a while though, just thought it would be nice to think about my life. Honestly, when my housemates talk about things that they want to learn, I dont have a clue what I want to do in my life. Its really a sad sad thing. I dont have any concrete plans, I'm just moving along with the flow and see what happens to me. Think that is a very bad thing. Will make some plans for myself soon. For my life. Anyway, deviating from self-reflection again, yesterday was just a day of walking in the city. Havent done walking around in awhile and like without committments. That feeling is simply marvellous. So anyway, city's having like sale and stuff but didnt get anything. We promised that we would buy something for ourselves after the exams as a reward for ourselves. So its pretty cool.. I'm still deciding what to buy for myself. Nothing really fancy really caught my eye except that I know I want to buy a duck down and a pair of ug boots. But those are things that I need, not something that I like. So anyway, walked around abit more, met up with our other housemates to have dinner at this Thai restaurant. I ate Thai fried rice, it was great though and oh we watched Shrek 2 as well. Pretty funny movie and nice as well. Oh the whole I think I had a pretty good night though I was pretty tired. Sigh, life's just unpredictable.
This entry is pretty crappy, I'm just typing whatever that comes to mind and hope that it makes sense. Oh and I'll be pretty alone these few days. Tomorrow we are going to watch the Euro 2004 game for France and Greece in a hotel that my housemate booked. Coming back on Sunday. That's the plans for the weekend but from monday to wednesday there's no one around with me. Most of them are leaving and only coming back on wednesday night. And my roommate is probably going to spend time with another housemate of mine anyway, so there goes my company. Luckily, borrowed some books from the library. Oh you guys know what? There's no limit on the number we can borrow on our library card and the length of the borrow time is like 4 weeks. That's heaps longer than Singapore. I guess 1 good thing came out of it then. Ah anyway, I'm sure half of what I'm writing do not make sense so I'll just shut up and stop typing. Cya guys..


Jessica WhIsPeReD OuT @ 6:24 pm


-ThE EnD-