Sunday, July 25, 2004

Sigh, school starts tomorrow. Time passes us by so quickly. One moment I'm complaining that I'm bored and now I'm complaining that I dont have enough time. Not that I have alot to do just that the feeling of having nothing to do is great. To wake up without commitments is a feeling that is once in a million. Well, twice a year actually. Winter and Summer break. Alot of things have happened during this holiday. Therefore, I cant say that it is a boring holiday, lots of ups and downs. In fact more downs than ever, problems that have not been solved. Problems that cannot be solved, somehow that makes me ver vulnerable and lost. I dont know what to do in such a situation, never encountered such a situation before. Recently, I took up running again, to run my problems away. Reuben always said I ran away from my problems, I guess that true but no matter how much I run, the problems will eventually be still there. I can never escape the problems and will keep worrying about it. But what are worries? Worries are things that are created by us, worry is something we dont have to, but ultimately the problem still lies there, perhaps that's why we worry. I once said this to someone and he said I was very philosophical that night. Anyway, enough of being so 'philosophical', there's enough gloom in the world around me without me contributing more to it. Even though sometimes I cant help it, but well.

Sat on the train yesterday and suddenly just felt like crying. In fact I did, just sat there and cried as many many thoughts went into my mind. Waves of emotion just overwhelmed me and I just couldnt take it anymore. There's only so much that a person can take in herself. I found out something yesterday, something that will cause a strain in the friendship of me and a good friend of mine. But I dont want this strain to happen, what then should I do? Its a difficult choice for me. I'm just confused and my mind is in a whirl. My roommate is also caught between the 2 of us. She does not know what to do or say to help the both of us. Neither do the both of us. Why must life be so cruel and challenge us constantly? Why cant life ever be smooth sailing? Sometimes, we can be brought up high and after awhile, we will be crashed down to the ends of the earth again. Its good to have problems once in awhile, but this is like constantly. Life(as I quote) is a pain in the arse.



Jessica WhIsPeReD OuT @ 2:24 pm


-ThE EnD-