Wednesday, September 15, 2004

No matter how much I diss you in front of my friends. I know I do that alot, especially in front of you. I guess I dont want to show you that I'm weak, I dont want to show that I'm dependent on you because I know that's not healthy. I dont want to scare you away from me if you knew how much you actually mean to me. I try to act brave in front of you but deep down I'm not. Those who act brave are in fact those who are the most cowardly. I am cowardly, that's why I dare not admit my weakness to you, to try to not show you my weak side. In fact,I talk so much about you with my friends when you're not around that they will get sick of it. You are a great person who tolerates all my shit. I am really afraid of the day that you'll be gone because I know that that day will come. Sometimes I think to myself, what did I do to deserve someone like you? When you're gone, all I have are memories, nothing concrete. What a shame because our times together are precious to me. My friends love you like I do because they know you have brought alot of sunshine into my life, lifted me up when I was really down, there for me when they could not. I guess I never say these things out because I dont want to show I'm weak but I do care for you alot and I dont mean half the mean stuff I say to you. I guess I just want to say that you mean alot to me, alot more than you think you do.



Jessica WhIsPeReD OuT @ 12:37 am


-ThE EnD-