Thursday, October 07, 2004

I have a green eye, a purple chin, a grazed hip and hand. Basically all 4 limbs are hurt. Why? Because stupid klutzy me fell flat on my face yesterday, hard. For what reason? I was playing with James, and was chasing after him and lost my balance and fell flat on concrete floor outside eagle boys pizza. I really dont know what to say about myself except I'm stupid and klutzy and careless. I look bashed up. Went to school with heaps of make-up on. Havent put on that much in a long time, but still my bruises were visible. Sigh, what to do? It was so not worth it for that fall for a stupid reason. Even though I laugh and joke about my injury and let people make fun of me like that, it really does hurt, physically and emotionally as well. It hurts to think that they trying to 'cheer' me up is to make a joke out of my injury. I have had the worse fall in my life, I hardly think of it as a joke. But sometimes, it lightens the mood. I dont know.

Anyway, recently I got hooked onto this game The Sims 2. Its really addicting but lame as well. Keke, its like I'm watching my sim play computer. It sounds so weird when its said out but yet it kinda creates a world that you want to live in. I created my 'dream' guy with the perfect hair and colour and bod and stuff. Created the girl that I want to be, with the perfect hair and skin tone. Live in a perfect house, with cool stuff around. Sometimes, I just want to escape from reality to go into my perfect Sim world. Well, kinda perfect because they can be such pains sometimes. But still, its a relief from reality sometimes. Thing is, this game is at James computer, so I cant access it anytime I want to. But I suppose that could be a good thing so that I can get my work done. But still.. I am so tempted to install it in my computer.

Righto, enough about the Sims. Sigh, I think maybe James and me drifting apart. We had quite a good talk about the problem of initiative and communication. Think he is under alot of stress and not really acting himself, thus he is colder? Like today, he told me he was going to sleep. Turned off his computer. When I came back to the room, I saw him sign in at msn. Which meant he turned on his computer again. It could mean nothing, he could mean something. Of course I wish it would mean nothing. It takes alot of self control to just not go over to his room to check. I dont want to seem to be a very possessive and paranoid girlfriend. I probably am, just trying not to portray that in front of him. Regardless, he is not the only one with assignments due and have alot of school work. I also have 2 assignments due in 2 weeks. Same as him. Sigh, I dont even know what am I talking about anymore. I think I'll stop looking for him for awhile, maybe for like 2 weeks? It would take ALOT of self-control for that to happen. Seriously, I dont think I have the discipline for that. But I'll try... If me being away froom him can make him do better and let him concentrate and stuff, then I suppose, I should not be selfish. I probably could get more work done, which is a good thing.

Topic for the week: How important is racial reconciliation to contemporary Australiansociety? Honestly, my whole semester is concentrated on racial reconciliation for this course which is utterly boring. And after being bumped around by the UQ people for my transfer of course. I finally manage to get an appointment with someone who hopefully will have some idea as to which direction I can go.

Sigh, many many problems, I have little solutions for them.



Jessica WhIsPeReD OuT @ 1:33 am


-ThE EnD-