Wednesday, October 13, 2004

I have been heart broken since Sunday. I havent stopped crying since Sunday night. I cant be alone or else my mind will start to wander and start crying. Hurt come in waves and these waves keep coming just from daily activities. Anyway, I got this email from Philip about love. Made me think about why he broke up with me. Made me understand a little about his cold harsh attitude towards me. However, this does not mean that I'm not crying and bleeding inside. Because I am and will be till I fly home and heal properly.

Every person will need to find four people in their lives. The First personis you. The Second person is the one you love most. The Third person is theone who love you most. And the Fourth is the one you spend the rest of yourlife with.

In life, firstly you will meet with the one you love most, and learn howlove feels. Because you know how love feels, so you can find the person wholoves you most. When you have experienced the feeling of loving others andbeing loved, you will then know what it is you need most. Then you willfind the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the restof your life with.

Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.The one you love most doesn't love you. The one, who loves you most, isnever the one you love most. And the one you spend your life with, is neverthe one you love most or the one who loves you most. He is just the personwho happens to be at the right place at the right time. Which person areyou in other people's life?

No person will purposely have a change of heart. At the point in time whenhe loves you, he really loves you. But when he doesn't love you anymore, hereally doesn't love you anymore. When he loves you, he can't pretend thathe doesn't. Same goes, when he loves you no more, there's no way he canpretend he loves you.

When a person doesn't love you and wants to leave you. You must askyourself if you still love him, If you also don't love him anymore, do notkeep him just to save your pride. If you still love him, you should wishhim happiness, and hope that he will be with the one he loves most, notstop him from it. If you stop him from finding true happiness with the onehe loves, it shows you already don't love him, And if you don't love him,what rights do you have to blame him for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive, if you like the moon, you can't just take it downand put it in your basin. But the moonlight still shines upon you. In otherwords, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing theperson. Let him become a permanent memory in your life. If you really lovea person, you must love him for what he is. Love him for his good points,and the bad. You can't wish for him to become like what you like him to bejust because you love him. If he can't change to become what you like himto be, you don't love him anymore. When you really love a person, youcannot find a reason why you love him, you only know that no matter whenand where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be withyou.

Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems withoutasking for promises or listing criteria. In a relationship, you have to putin effort and give in at times, and not always be on the receiving end.Being away from each other is a type of test. If the relationship isn'tstrong, then you can only admit defeat. Real love will never become hate.

Real love will never become hate. I guess no matter how badly you treat me, I'll still love you. Slowly but surely I'll get over you but you're wrong, you're the hardest to get over because I got together with you and you broke my heart. I'll get over you but I'll never forget you. Maybe one day you'll forget me, but I know I'll never forget you just as I never forgot Nick.
I'll stop writing a diary about us cause it will just hurt me more. Bits and pieces will leave my memory but you will always be part of my memories.



Jessica WhIsPeReD OuT @ 2:17 pm


-ThE EnD-